The Chinese Prince and the Pea
by Threshie
Summary: A re-write of the fairytale, 'The Princess and the Pea'. ^^ Follows my gag of replacing the princess with a G-boy and changing the story around so it isn't yaoi. Kawaii and my first semi-serious fairytale re-write. Nothing bad--PG to be safe!


**The (Chinese) Prince and the Pea**                                                                  4/6/2003

Mallory York/Threshie

AN: I do not own Gundam Wing or the its characters/places/names/etc. ^^ Nor do I own the fable, 'The princess and the Pea', which was written by Hans Christian Andersen. ^^;; Notice a pattern, here? That's right--I'm taking stories with a princess and changing them into stories with a prince. LOL. Oh, well. Enjoy--I think re-writing fairytales gets easier the more you do it! ^^

***

Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess named Meiran. Now, Meiran wanted to marry, and was the perfect age for doing so, but there was a _slight_ problem with this…

"Oh, Darling, let's get married right away!" Prince Duo said, grinning his usual, cheerful grin. 

Meiran smiled, thinking that perhaps she had finally found the guy she was meant to marry. He was a slightly annoying American with hair longer than hers, but still…he was the best prospect she'd come across so far. Unfortunately…

"Don't marry him, Princess Meiran!" Meiran's lady in waiting came rushing to her side jut as she was about to accept Prince Duo's proposal. 

"What?" Meiran frowned, "Why not, Noin?" 

"I've looked into the royalty in hi homeland--he is just a duke, not a true prince!" Noin said, frowning at 'Prince' Duo, who was scratching his head and smiling sheepishly, a large sweatdrop developing atop his head. 

"Duo, is this true?" Meiran asked, turning to the violet-eyed boy, but he had already beat a quick retreat, disappearing out on of the windows rapidly. Meiran sighed. That made the eighteenth one. 

Marrying seemed a simpler business than it actually was--every time Meiran thought she'd found the perfect future husband, she discovered that he wasn't a true prince! _Since when did real princes become so scarce?_ She wondered, annoyed. It was easy to find princes--just not _real_ ones. _Maybe it's the only way some lowly nobles can catch a wife these days?_ Meiran thought, _Misleading their perspective brides? Where is the justice in lying to the woman you love?_

Finally, after a full year of searching for a real prince proved pointless, Meiran and Noin returned home in dismay. What would Meiran do if she couldn't find a real prince? She certainly wouldn't settle for a man who only _called_ himself a prince! 

"Perhaps it's hopeless to believe I'll ever find an honorable man who is really a prince," Princess Meiran sighed late one evening, listening to the rain pounding on the rooftops of the palace. Just as the sun was setting that evening, an enormous and violent storm had suddenly come upon the palace and the land surrounding it. With the deafening pounding on the rooftops, there was no way Meiran could sleep, and so here she was sitting up late, late at night, thinking on the subject of the few true princes she never seemed to find. 

Just then, a pounding came that was louder than the rain on the princess' rooftop. Blinking, the Chinese girl peered out of her open window and saw, to her chagrin, that someone had pounded the front gates so hard that they had been knocked right open. In fact, she realized, frowning, the intruder was still down there! Deciding to go and give the newcomer a piece of her mind for just barging through the town gates (and give her guards a piece of her mind for just sleeping through the intrusion, no less), Princess Meiran leapt right out of her window, climbing deftly down the ivy on the palace walls and rapidly arriving at the stranger's side. 

"Hey, you!" She called, annoyance clear in her voice, "Who do you think you are, just barging into the palace gates like that?!" 

"They were locked, and the guards couldn't hear me over the rain," the stranger replied, turning to look at her. Meiran stopped short at the sight of the slanted ebony eyes the stranger possessed. This boy, who looked about her own age, was obviously as Chinese as she was. 

"Well," she said finally, attempting to shake off the mesmerizing effect that gaze seemed to have, "What business do you have with the palace, anyway?" She was having trouble concentrating on being angry or annoyed with the sight of the wet, just past shoulder-length black hair hat hung rather becomingly into the Chinese boy's face. The boy frowned, then sighed, nodding slightly. 

"I suppose I _am_ being a bit presumptuous in coming waltzing into your palace grounds and not explaining myself at all." He looked up, explaining seriously, "I am Chang Wufei, a prince from a faraway land, and I am here because I was caught during a solitary traveling excursion by this large and violent storm--which, may I mention, is extremely cold and not healthy to be out in. Can we please go inside?" 

"Very well," Meiran said, attempting to stay composed. It was very difficult, with those ebony eyes still peering into hers. Turning abruptly if only to break that gaze, the princess marched into the palace gates, beckoning Prince Wufei to follow her. 

Inside, Noin had come to Princess Meiran's bedroom to check in on her, only to find that she was not there. Just as Meiran and Wufei came back inside, both bedraggled and soaked from the rain and wind, she came down the grand stairway from the bedrooms. 

"Oh, Princess Meiran, you worried me terribly, disappearing like that!" The lady in waiting scolded, sighing in relief despite herself. Noticing Wufei, she asked in surprise, "And who might this be?" 

"This," Meiran said, wringing her black hair out, "Is Prince Chang Wufei. He and I are both soaked and chilled to the bone--I would like blankets for both of us, please." 

"Of course, Princess," Noin curtsied, disappearing into the washrooms and quickly returning with blankets for both of the young nobles. "It seems Prince Wufei is in need of shelter for the night--shall I prepare a room for him?" Meiran barely heard the question--she was beginning to think that perhaps, just maybe, the true prince she had searched for for a whole year may have stumbled right onto her doorstep. 

"No, Noin, I need your assistance as a lady in waiting," she said after a moment's thought, "However, please inform another servant of the matter--and make sure the room is fit for a prince!" With another curtsy, Noin disappeared up the grand staircase. Turning to her unexpected guest, Meiran said, "Please stay the night here, Prince Wufei. I could not turn you away into the storm, after all." 

"Thank you for your help," Wufei bowed, surprising Meiran--all of the other 'princes' she had met, none of which had really been the prince they claimed they were, had never bowed to her. All of them had been enjoying their supposed rank too much, not being accustomed to it. Noin returned, smiling cheerily.

"A maid is attending to our princely guest's room, Princess Meiran. This," she indicated a short blonde boy with large, turquoise eyes, "Is Quatre. He will attend to any other needs Prince Wufei may have, and will show him to his room." 

Quatre smiled and bowed to the prince, "It's a pleasure to serve you, Highness. Please, allow me to show you to your room." 

Wufei nodded, "Thank you." Bidding goodnight to Meiran and Noin, the prince followed the blonde boy from the room. 

Meiran turned to Noin, "I must dress in some dry clothes before I catch cold, Noin. Come." 

"Of course, Princess," the lady in waiting nodded, following Meiran up the grand staircase. 

***

The next morning, Wufei came downstairs to breakfast wincing slightly. "Good morning, Prince Wufei," Meiran greeted the Chinese boy, as Quatre pulled out his chair for him. "I trust you slept well?" 

"That isn't the word I would choose to describe it," Wufei winced, sitting rather uncomfortably in his chair and taking extreme care not to lean over and touch the high back of the seat. "There was something hard under the mattresses--it was horribly uncomfortable, and I tossed and turned until early this morning, when I finally went to sleep on the floor!" 

"I'm sorry," Meiran said, surprised at the complaints, "I thought all of the palace beds were perfectly suited for royalty."

"Please forgive me for that," all at the table looked up in surprise, as an apologetic Quatre stepped forward. The blonde boy bowed, "I remembered how long you searched for a true prince to wed, Princess Meiran, and I realized that if Prince Wufei was truly the royalty he claimed to be, you could marry happily." 

Wufei blinked, "What did you do to give me such a backache?" 

"As I said, I'm sorry," Quatre smiled and sweatdropped a little, bowing once more, "I did what any learned person would do to test if you were a true prince--I placed a single pea beneath all of your bedcovers and mattresses while making the bed. If you had slept perfectly fine despite that, it would have gone unmentioned and I would have known that you were not sensitive enough to be a true prince. However, since you have admitted to being unable to sleep due to the discomfort of one tiny pea, I'd say you're about as princely as they come!"

Meiran blinked, "You can tell if someone is royalty by seeing how sensitive they are?" 

"Yes," Quatre smiled, "If you don't believe how I would know that, I learned it from your own grandmother, her Highness Lady Shiron, while serving her tea. She said it is what you should have tried on your perspective husbands all along." 

"Well," Meiran blinked, "It seems to have worked." Turning to Wufei, she apologized, "I'm sorry you had to sleep so badly to see if Quatre's theory worked. As is obvious, you are a true prince, after all. And…" She lowered her eyes, blushing slightly. "…The only question remaining to ask is if you are eligible to marry, and if so, would you…" 

"Marry you?" Wufei asked, raising an eyebrow. Blushing a little more, Meiran was silent. _I didn't mean to be quite so blunt about things,_ she thought worriedly, _Perhaps he is already betrothed!_ "Very well, though if Quatre continues working for you I hope it is clear that he should not place any more peas in my bedding," the prince concluded, smiling at Meiran's surprised expression. "As it so happens, my parents have been urging me to select a wife for just over a year now--but you, Princess Meiran, are the first I have even found myself attracted to." 

"Thank you," Meiran blushed, "Oh, my parents will be so excited! I am going to thank Grandmother Shiron personally!" 

Nodding, Wufei said, "May I please set one condition on this wedding?" 

"Yes, what is it?" Meiran blinked, curious. 

Wufei raised an eyebrow, "Can I wait until my back stops hurting before walking down some aisle somewhere?" 

--Owari

AN: ^^ I like this story, and Meiran/Wufei pairings! Wai for Wu-kun and Mei-chan! *Waves Wu/Mei flag* Seriously, though, I like pairing Wufei with pretty much any girl who seems to fit in a match with him. ^^ Please r&r this--I think writing GW farytale parodies is getting to be a fun hobby of mine! 

Ja for now!

--Threshie ^^V


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